Holidays

Holidays in our household consisted of family being together. When my husband and I had our two sons, our world felt complete. Since his passing over two years ago, holidays have not felt the same. We would visit our extended families during Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and birthdays. As we created our own traditions, friends we made along the way really began to feel more like family. 

As it turns out, this Easter is a first for me. It’s the first holiday where I will be absolutely alone. My parents are passed away and my sons are out of state in college and visiting extended family. They had just visited me for their Spring Break a few weeks ago. I didn’t feel comfortable asking family if I could visit because I know everyone has their own ways of celebrating and if they wanted me to come they would have mentioned it in advance for planning travel arrangements. I am in no way upset or harboring ill feelings. It is what it is. 

As I begin to open myself up and share my views about grief, I have witnessed mostly compassion and empathy from others, but there have been times when people unknowingly share their perspectives without truly walking in a grief stricken person’s shoes. One person even said to me, “Well, at some point, your going to have to learn how to be alone.”Believe me, I don’t wish for anyone to be on this grief journey, but we all know it’s inevitable. So we might as well start gaining some thoughtfulness when around grieving people.  

What this person isn’t considering is the moment my husband died, I started learning how to be alone, and I have  been physically alone since my sons went to college last August.  And this “alone” lie is what Satan wants us to put our energy, thoughts, and minds on. Like I mentioned before, holidays were a time my family would gather together. So being with others was my part of my comfort zone.

There are moments while grieving when I feel isolated, alone, and unwilling to be around others. I know this is a ploy the Enemy uses to get our minds away from concentrating on “…what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”  Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬ 

You see, our battle isn’t in this world. There is a spiritual battle for your soul and there is a Deceiver out there willing to do absolutely anything to keep your mind and heart from knowing the Truth in God’s Word. In my personal situation, my loneliness is an area of weakness, but by knowing that, I can prepare my mind, heart, and soul for these battles. I can put the Armor of God on and protect myself.  I root myself in these verses: 

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭10‬-‭15‬, ‭17‬-‭18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

My relationship with The Holy Spirit is critical to keep  reading The Bible, doing my devotions, and surrounding myself with godly people. I am a part of a lovely online female widow support group that gave me some advice because I asked for it. Bottom line is that I was neglecting my focus on the Lord Jesus. I was so wrapped up in my world of loneliness and depression that I wasn’t allowing my mind to focus on what is the most important part about the holiday. 

So the question became, what would Jesus have me do? And this is when my heart of repentance took a step forward and the tears began to fall and my prayers of asking for forgiveness for my selfishness became reality. The lightbulb turned on and I could clearly see I needed to focus not on my own life of loneliness, but on the lives of OTHERS. 

When we take our eyes off of what WE want, God reveals what HE wants for us. Then we can breathe easier, serve others, and use our gifts and talents to better serve God’s desire for us to help others know Jesus and learn the importance of His sacrifice for us.

As your joyful hike continues through the holidays you share with others, I pray God’s peace upon you. May you use your gifts to serve others with a willing heart and may God’s protection surround you always. 

Happy Easter!  He is RISEN!